Posts from ‘Random’

Sep
04

A Wordle of the Solitude Seeking blog.

May
23
May
12

If you’ve known me for even a little while you likely know the only sport I follow with any amount of enthusiasm is hockey. Given that I’ve lived the majority of my adult life in northeast Ohio, this comes in quite handy – because with only the briefest fleeting moments of exception, our regional sports teams suck. In general I don’t assign much veracity to curses, let alone “The Curse of Cleveland.” Still, it’s hard to deny the regions’ futility where organized professional sport is concerned.

A good portion of my family, friends and coworkers are unusually affected by the rare ups and more common downs of their favorite local team. After a particularly nasty loss on any given Sunday by the Cleveland Browns, I know in advance to expect grumpy, distracted and unproductive colleagues. Yet, in the midst of one of their worst seasons in history, the teams’ defeat last year of the “arch-rival” Pittsburgh Steelers led to near euphoria. Most of my coworkers were still amazingly unproductive as they stood around for hours talking about the game – but they were preternaturally happy.

Personally, I can’t imagine having my mood so dramatically impacted by something completely out of my control and in nearly every measurable way, entirely without merit or purpose beyond sheer entertainment value on par with the final days of the Roman Empire. Are we really so afraid of our own inner thoughts, ideas and emotions that we would place so much of ourselves at the mercy of arrogant athletes making multi-millions of dollars each year whether they win or lose? At this moment in time there are several high-profile athletes whose yearly salary is more than what many major cities can spend on public schools or police and fire protection. We live in a society in which citizens won’t approve a levy for schools or public services that adds one hundred and fifty dollars to their annual tax bill, but they will eagerly spend twice that to attend a playoff game for their favorite team and sporting event. These are usually the same people who complain about the cost of providing health care for their fellow citizens in need.

Several times over the years my best friend has commented that she doesn’t understand how I can sit down and watch a few minutes of an NHL game only to turn off the television and go back to doing something else. “Don’t you care who wins?” she has asked over the years. Certainly I would like to see the Buffalo Sabres win Lord Stanley’s Cup. But whether they win or lose, my life goes on. Whether the sport even exists or not, my life goes on. During the NHL lockout a few years ago in which an entire season was lost, I still managed to function. Off all the things for one to be fanatical about in life, sports are surely not one of them.

If you want a little more perspective on things, I invite you to visit the Global Rich List. The site allows you to enter your annual salary and then computes your ranking in the world at large. I think most people are shocked to see the result. In fact, I’m willing to bet nearly all of you would fall in the top 15% worldwide, with a few outliers in the top 1%. (It doesn’t take nearly as much money as you would expect to place you in the top 1%!) Take some time to think about what we are doing with our “wealth.” Take a minute or two to consider our priorities and our dependence on materialism. If you’re not shocked, you aren’t being honest. Most of us have truly lost any sense of perspective and purpose. As a society we’ve come to equate the square footage of our home and the size of the HD television on the wall as tangible measurements of our success. We’ve come to equate net worth, toys and gadgets with accomplishment. And yet, most of us are miserable.

I readily admit that for years I was as guilty as most. It wasn’t until relatively recently in my life that I began to reevaluate my goals, my purpose and my footprint – good and bad. In many ways I was extremely uncomfortable with what I saw in my past and what was likely to be my future. I’ve still got a long way to go. However, I come to you today from a much clearer and more settled space.

And I come to you today not giving a rat’s ass that the Cleveland Cavaliers are one game away from losing in the NBA playoffs. I come to you not caring if LeBron James stays with Cleveland or jumps to a new city with brighter lights to ply his trade. Stay or go, my journey – and my interaction with friends, family and loved ones along the way – remains my focus and my purpose. I am burdened not with sports scores, lost bets or arrogant celebrity, but on how I can be a better friend, brother and son. I am hopeful not for sports championships and downtown parades, but of peaceful thoughts, helpful purposes and a calmer mind.

Apr
27

For me, ones romantic or sexual life is the least interesting or significant aspect of another human being. I have no interest in publicly sharing my romantic or sexual life nor am I particularly interested in whom is or isn’t sharing your bed – as if that alone made one whole or broken, blissful or despondent.

I suppose this is an essential part of why I have such disregard for television in general and in reality television specifically. Our modern media seems nothing more than our feral itchiness laid bare in brief six-minute bursts interspersed with ten minutes of commercial advertising. Sadly, this seems to be the case with everything from Twitter and Facebook to the overwhelming majority of personal blogs and websites. We can’t very well decry the proliferation of porn-bots and SPAM when our own collective output is just variations on the very same themes.

One of my favorite fiction authors is novelist, musician and screenwriter Kazuo Ishiguro. His works are known for their sparse, powerful language and for their emphasis on memory – often failing or faulty – along with the intense introspection of his characters. His work has achieved reasonable success despite its inherent lack of explosions, car chases or graphic sex. Instead, Ishiguro asks his readers to look deep inside his characters, their context and predicaments and to come to terms with how we deal with painful or life changing events, and why one might choose to rewrite ones own history or portions thereof. (I am reminded of a co-workers comment years ago upon opening a copy of Ishiguro’s A Pale View of Hills he found on my desk – “Dude, that’s a lot of words.”) This is not to suggest there is no romance or intimate intermingling of Ishiguro’s characters. Indeed, he is capable of extremely sensual prose. Yet his words carry more weight than the clinical ugliness so common in modern literature, film and internet media. We seem to have lost the very mystery for life and replaced it with breasts, crotch shots, Jerry Springer and sex tapes.

Believe me; I like sex as much as the next guy. I find the female form extraordinarily beautiful, I’m not a prude and I certainly don’t have a problem with strong sexuality in media if it is done well and serves some purpose beyond belligerent consumerism. It’s just that I’m really tired of it. It’s on nearly all 300 channels of our cable systems, it’s in our popular music, in articles and advertising in magazines, in banner ads on every Web page, and now, in nearly every personal blog or website – and honestly, I just don’t care.

I am interested in the things that hint at who we really are and of those people, places and things that move us in inexplicable ways. I am interested in experiences and observations that help us grow into compassionate, caring, interesting (and interested) individuals. Certainly our romantic and sexual life (or lack thereof) is part what makes us who we are. However, it can’t be the only part or even the most significant part. If it is, I suggest we really won’t get along that well for very long. It takes more than beer and boobs to motivate this boy.

Editors Note: I had originally titled this post (Sur)reality, Sex & the Modern Blogger. However, in homage to the very thing this post rails against, I thought I’d give you a nice, three-word image just to get you reading. I’m enigmatic that way…

Mar
06

Alice In Wonderland - Tim Burton